11 Reasons Why I Think You Shouldn’t Yell at Referees
Why do I care so much about things like “parents yelling at referees?” I think there are many reasons for this. I want a better example for my kids. I think we have become too casual with being cruel to people who make us angry. Something I use to love (going to sports games), is becoming increasingly less enjoyable. I could go on, but I hope these are enough reasons. I also have a bent to my personality that compels me to not just accept things because “we’ve always done it that way.” One of my favorite things as a leader, is helping people see that there is a better way to do things. I hope that my simple thoughts will help people think differently about a serious issue.
(please forgive any typos or bad grammar. I didn’t have any professionals proof this.)
Below are 11 Reasons Why I think You Shouldn’t Yell at Referees.
Today’s 11 Reasons You Shouldn’t Yell at Referees
1. It’s inappropriate – Let me start with the obvious… There is no environment where it is ok to yell at someone who YOU FEEL isn’t doing their job the correct way? It doesn’t matter that for some reason this has become common place in sports, we need to take a step back and realize it is never ok to yell at people we think are doing their jobs poorly. Just because it’s sports doesn’t change the rules.
2. You’re biased – What you think was a bad call might not actually be a bad call. Have you ever noticed that people typically think every call that goes their way just happens to be the correct call? People have a very difficult time separating their bias from what they see. Most of the calls you don’t like are actually the correct call.
3. You’re untrained – Reffing is so much harder than you think. It doesn’t matter how well someone knows a sport’s rules or how long they have played the sport, when they first try ref a game, they are awful. It takes a lot of practice to learn to process what you are seeing in real time into a quick decision. You also have to learn all the rules and then see them play out to understand them. Almost no spectators have ever been trained how to ref. They don’t know the rules like they think they do, and they don’t have any experience calling a game. Just this year I have heard people yell things about 3 seconds, 5 seconds, over and back, over the back, that’s a foul, that’s a travel, etc. about things they are totally wrong in because they don’t actually know the rules they are yelling about.
4. You’re poorly positioned – You don’t actually have a better view from a hundred feet away in the stands then the ref who is 5 feet from the action. It doesn’t matter what you thought you saw; the ref had a better view.
5. You’re not changing the ref’s mind – Do you know what the ref is thinking if they can even hear you? They are not thinking, “Oh man, I probably missed that call.” They are thinking, “That fan doesn’t know what they are talking about.” I know because I reffed professionally. When the crowd yelled at me, I always trusted my own eyes and judgement first. I never gave a yelling fan the benefit of the doubt. Coaches I would listen to but never a fan. Why? It wasn’t arrogance. I was watching the play from the angle I was trained to do, and I made a call based on the facts of what my own eyes saw. I just assumed the fan was wrong because they didn’t have the view I did.
6. You’re becoming a Karen – When you watch the Tik Tok / Reels / YouTube videos of people who are yelling at a retail worker, what do you think about them? You think they are a Karen who are making a fool of themselves. I’ll let you apply this logic to our discussion.
7. The school doesn’t want you to yell at refs – Most schools start every event by reading a statement asking you not to yell at refs. You should honor their wishes.
8. Coaches don’t want you to yell at refs – Every coach I know doesn’t want parents to yell at refs because angry refs do not give you the close calls. I used to get to know the refs and their names before the games so I could talk to them respectfully. I would ask parents not to yell because it hurt us.
9. The players don’t want you to yell at refs – It’s very embarrassing for players when their parents and fans are yelling at refs. It distracts them often, which hurts their play.
10. You’re a bad example – Sports’ best gift to athletes is teaching them important life lessons like teamwork, hard work paying off, how to lose and win, how to face adversity, etc. When you make the refs the reason for losing and / or decide to demean them, you are robbing the athletes of an opportunity to learn redemptive lessons.
11. You’re hurting youth sports – Schools will tell you that it is getting harder and harder to find officials because officials are leaving the profession DUE TO THE PARENTS YELLING AT THEM. When the school does find them, they are having to pay them more money. This is making the quality of officiating to decrease too, because the experienced refs have had enough. You’re yelling is costing school districts money and quality refs.